Postpartum depression was something I first heard about in a classroom during my freshman year of college. As the professor was talking and I was vigorously trying to write everything down, I remember thinking (with much less wisdom and experience) "Who would be depressed after just having a  baby?!"  What I didn't know was that many women are affected by postpartum depression, and there is a stigma in our society that women should not feel negative emotions as a new parent. 

When I became a Child Development teacher, I started learning more about how it affects new mothers regardless of age, income, or ethnicity, and how much shame is associated with the majority who face it. Why would women reach out for help if they are often shamed when they do? If they don't know why they are experiencing what they are experiencing? If they feel alone and isolated in their experiences? I wanted to have good conversations with my students about the normal and difficult struggles that it takes to be a new parent. Many had never heard of postpartum depression before, some asked their parents if they were affected, and I had two students who were actually struggling with it as teen mothers sitting right in front me each day. 

As a therapist, I see it much more commonly in the women that come in my office for other things. They are stressed, tired and trying to balance being a new mom. When we start identifying the symptoms, it becomes obvious that they are indeed struggling with something, they just had no idea what. Other clients come in having read about it, or talked to someone they know that has it. They just don't know where to start with receiving treatment. It's not talked about enough, it's not normalized enough, and we are not doing enough to empower women to seek help and feel okay about it. 

Flash forward to this year, when a co worker of mine and I decided to start a group. We are both passionate about women's wellness, and both passionate about helping a group of women that we realize is not being helped enough. Our group is targeted at providing support and education to women who are struggling with postpartum depression. We will teach healthy coping skills, collaborate, validate experiences and provide resources for women that may not be receiving these things in their daily lives. 

So what is it? In a nutshell--postpartum depression is a mood disorder that can affect women after childbirth. Mothers with postpartum depression can experience feelings of extreme sadness, anxiety and exhaustion that can make it difficult for  them to complete daily care activities for themselves or others. It does not have a single cause, but likely results from a combination of physical and emotional factors. It is important to note: postpartum depression does not occur because of something the mother does or does not do. 

What can you do? It is important to meet with your health care provider immediately if you feel as though you might be struggling with this. From there, they might recommend therapy and/or medication, depending on what is the best fit for you and your child. It is important to understand that it can be treated, and should not be left to go away on its own.

If you feel as though you may be in crisis (there is a possibility you might harm yourself or your baby), please contact the following crisis resources: 
1. Call 911 for emergency services or go to the nearest emergency room
2. Call the toll free 24 hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/suicideprevention
3. National Hopeline Network 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) www.hopeline.com
4. PPD Moms 1-800-PPDMOMS http://www.1800ppdmoms.org
 
Additional Non-Crisis Resources:
1. Local health care provider
2. Friend or family member
3. Community group 
 
 "We need more women willing to say, "I've been there and I'm here. You can always talk to me without judgement." -Unknown 

I first learned about this campaign when I was teaching high school and some of my students had semicolon tattoos on their wrists. I asked about the significance, and they filled me in on why they had chosen to support project semicolon and what it meant to them. A few months later, a nonprofit organization I work with (Journey to Dream), held a meeting all about the campaign. The meeting encouraged the members to spread the knowledge about what this means, and how it can have an impact on those who may be struggling. I knew this was something special that many people could connect to. 

                                                        Here are the basics:

• • Project semicolon supports the idea that authors use a semicolon when a sentence could have ended, but they chose to continue it. You are the author and the sentence is your life. 
  • Through the semicolon symbol many can relate to the struggles of depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide, but decide to commit to the will to carry on. 
  • The founder, Amy Bleuel is a motivational speaker and travels to educate others about mental illness and spread hope. 
• If you have struggled or know anyone that has struggled with mental illness, this can be something that you might be able to relate to and spread awareness about. 
  
  NOTE: Project semicolon is not a crisis hotline, but it can be a resource for those interested in learning more about the campaign and how to get involved. Visit their website HERE.
  
  

         ​​"Your story is not over." -Project Semicolon  

Being in a relationship can be hard work, but can be one of the most rewarding life experiences. Below are some ideas of how to connect and spend time together. 

*Create a compliments jar. Each write 10 things you love about the other person and put it in the jar. You can use two jars if you don't feel like labeling the compliments for each of you. Each morning you can draw a compliment out of the jar and be reminded of what your partner appreciates about you. When you are done, start over again. You can also do this with sticky notes around the house, a text to your partner on your way to work or before you fall asleep each night. 

*Create a list of fun date night activities and try to do one each week. I like this post HERE for date night ideas. 

*Have quality conversations. This might seem like a given, but in a world where we are constantly plugged into our phones, the TV, the computer, our work to do list, etc. it's easy to not really hear what your partner is saying. People that feel heard and appreciated are more connected with one another.  

*Try a love map HERE during your quality time/conversations to get to know each other all over again. 

*Complete a Prepare and Enrich test with one another and a facilitator. I recently got trained as a facilitator and love what it's all about. Whether you are newly engaged, married, or are planning to blend a family together, this might be a helpful tool. Find more information HERE. 

*Listening is not always about problem solving. Often times we get so caught up in our response to our partner's problem that we forget to listen. Try to empathize, support and understand what they are saying. As they are talking, focus on their feelings and try to reflect it back to them. Active listening can go a long way!  If you want more information about how to be an active listener, find it HERE. 

"Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation."-Oscar Wilde

I often hear from people that it seems as though their life feels unorganized, cluttered and chaotic. Not everyone is a naturally organized person or likes to organize, and that's perfectly okay! This post can be helpful to those with ADD, anxiety, or even those who just feel as if they need to declutter or reorganize their lifestyle. 

Some of these tips I try to do in my everyday life, and others I have picked up from other professionals and clients along the way. Happy organizing! 

Personal & Social: 

•  Keep to do lists to 5 items max. Once those 5 things are done, you can add more if you have more time. If not, then you can do the next 5 things the next day. You will feel more productive this way. 
• Commit to what you can handle. If you are committing to a new thing, replace something else you are doing with that new thing. This prevents spreading yourself too thin. 
•  Build social time and self care in your schedule. This will help you to actually do it instead of just think about it! 
• Buy experiences, not objects. Vacations, new restaurants, etc. This prevents clutter at home and promotes memories. 

Work:

• Set reminders and alarms. This can be on your technology, home or work clock. This helps you to be on time for commitments, meetings and leaving the office at a reasonable hour. 
• Find a work friend that can be your sounding board, coffee buddy or support in the work place. Studies show a higher morale and less stress when you have at least one close friend at your job. 

Home:

• Declutter your closet-A helpful tip is to put the hangers one way in your closet on January 1st. As you wear your clothes throughout the year,  flip the hanger around. All of the hangers that have not been flipped by the end of the year are clothes you can most likely weed out. 
• Have a launch pad at the front door with coats, shoes, umbrellas and keys. Everything is in one place  if you are in a hurry to get out the door. 
• Empty pockets when you get home into jars or containers. One jar for coins, one for receipts, etc. 
• Have one "junk drawer" that you can fill with anything that does not have a place. Once it gets filled, spend 10 minutes cleaning it out and start over. 
• Promote productivity. Find ways to get things done when other things are happening. Example: If the clothes are in the dryer and you are waiting to fold them-empty out the dishwasher, write a quick email, check the mailbox, write a grocery list, etc. This helps use "wasted minutes."

"Organization isn't about perfection. It's about efficiency, reducing stress and clutter, saving time and money and improving your overall quality of life."-Cristina Scalise

Grief and loss can be a heavy subject, and sometimes learning strategies and resources for how to cope can be helpful.

A book I have loved reading with clients has been Tear Soup, by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen. This book describes the process of healing and remembering memories after a loss. It is something I think most people can relate to, and can be used with both children and adults. 

A few things I try to remember when working with someone who has suffered a loss:

• Each person grieves in their own way. They may not follow steps or a timeline, and that's perfectly okay. 
• There is no time limit.
• Each person finds comfort in their own way.
• Education can go a long way in helping someone else deal with a loss, or in dealing with a loss yourself.
• Loss can come in many shapes and forms. 

Some other resources I like sharing and reading: 
Grief Watch
​Help Guide

​"What's true about soup making is also true about grieving."-Tear Soup

I use the 5 love languages with both couples and parents as a way to teach them how to emotionally connect with loved ones. It is also helpful in sharing with others how to communicate with you. Below is some short and sweet information about what the 5 love languages are, and how you can find out which one fits for you! 

1. Words of Affirmation: This language uses words to affirm other people 
2. Acts of Service: For these people, actions speak louder than words 
3. Receiving Gifts: For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift 
4. Quality Time: This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention 
5. Physical Touch: To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch

*Find out what love language fits best for you and your partner, or your child here: www.5lovelanguages.com

Check out these books:
The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman 
The 5 Love Languages of Children, by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell 
The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers, by Gary Chapman

"The one who chooses to love will find appropriate ways to express that decision every day."-Gary Chapman

Art has always been something that I find can bring out the creativity and joy in someone who might not be able to express how they are feeling in other ways. In a therapy setting, you don't have to be good or even great at creating art, but just allow yourself to try. Below are some fun ideas of how to incorporate art into therapy, a classroom setting, or even at home. This list just has some ideas-do what fits for you! 

*Most materials can be picked up from stores like Hobby Lobby, Michaels, Wal Mart or Target. 

-Emotion Wheel 
Materials: Paper, your choice of: paint, markers, crayons, colored pencils, sharpie
Directions: Create a color wheel. Have individual write emotions on the colors that match those emotions. Discuss the process of choosing the emotions and matching the color. 

-Glitter Jars
Materials: Small mason jar with lid, glitter glue (assorted colors), sequins, warm water, super glue
Directions: Pour warm water into jar first (half way). Choose colors of glitter glue and sequins and add into the jar. Stir contents. Top off with warm water. Seal lid with super glue. This one reminds me of a DIY snow globe! 

-Color Your Heart
Materials: Paper with heart drawn on it, markers, crayons or colored pencils
Directions: Have individual color their paper heart with different feelings and amounts. Example: Yellow=happy, Red=Angry, Green=Jealous, etc. The client can choose their own feelings and colors that they want represented. They also can choose how much of their heart is affected by those feelings and colors.

-Friendship Bracelets
Materials: Colored string, beads
Directions: This is a great group activity for group members to make bracelets and share a little bit about their personalities with each other. The beads chosen can be a representation of who they are or how they are feeling. Give as much or as little guidance with this as you see fit. 

-Create your own Mandala
Mandalas are becoming increasingly more popular with both children and adults. I like to have my clients make their own mandalas and color them.  
Materials: Construction or printer paper, pencil, colored pencils 
Directions: You can show examples of mandalas for the individual to gather ideas, but the mandala should be the individual's own creation. They can color it how they choose. I always encourage them to color it with meaning. 

-Dream Catcher
Materials: Circular ring, string/yarn, feathers, beads, doilies, hot glue gun
Directions: Dream catchers can be as fancy or as simple as you want to make them. Pinterest and even Youtube have a lot of instructions on how to create these if you've never done it before. Essentially, you are wrapping yarn/string around the hoop in the design of your choice, and hanging beads and feathers for an extra touch.

-Mask
Materials: Construction paper or printer paper, markers, magazines, scissors, glue
Directions: Idea for outer self/inner self or how people see you versus how you see yourself. Have individual draw, cut and paste, or write words and phrases that describe both elements.

-Hands Activity 
Materials: Construction or printer paper, markers, magazines 
Directions: Idea for past interests and events versus future hopes and wishes. Have individual trace and cut out both hands on paper. On one hand, fill with drawings, phrases and items that represent the past  and on the other hand, fill with drawings, phrases and items that represent the future. 

There are MANY more art activities available, this is just a small snippet into what I have used with my clients in the past. 

I also like the book: Art Therapy Exercises by Liesl Silverstone 

Happy creating! 

"Anxiety does not define you!" has been my mantra for the past couple of weeks.  School is now in full swing and for many people so is their anxiety. I have found that education has been the most useful thing in helping my clients and their families cope with their anxious thoughts and feelings. Understanding that anxiety is something you can deal with and move through on a daily basis, can be freeing for those who have struggled without much hope.  Below are some tips and tools for dealing with anxiety and managing it. 

What is anxiety? Anxiety can mean different things for different people. It is your "fight or flight" mechanism, and often times can be completely normal and keep you safe. For some people however, it is "on" all the time. You may be constantly in "fight or flight" mode, and sometimes nothing visible even triggers it. This can be confusing and exhausting. People may struggle with panic attacks, inability to communicate how they are feeling or how to "fix" it, and lack of social supports. 

What are some ways to help myself and others? Keeping these ideas in mind can help. The key is to find what works for you, and get in the habit of coping in a healthy and effective way. 

*Deep Breathing. Deep breathing can be beneficial to calm your nerves and mind. Breathe in deeply through your nose and out through your mouth . 
*Take a time out. Find something you enjoy that relaxes you. Examples may include yoga, meditation, music, massage, etc. 
*Grounding. Focus on something concrete in the room and bring yourself to the present. This can be beneficial if you experience the onset of a panic attack. 
*Limit alcohol and caffeine. These substances have been known to contribute to panic attacks in some situations. 
*Sleep and healthy meals. Do your best to get enough sleep and eat well balanced meals. 
*Exercise. Set small goals and find something that works for you. 
*Talk to someone. Seek counseling services or a support group 
*Find the Triggers. Identify something specific that may be triggering the anxiety. Knowing what those triggers are can be useful in reducing anxious thoughts and feelings 
*Focus on the present. Sometimes thinking about the future and the unknown can cause anxiety to increase. Focus on the present and how you can take care of yourself now. 
*Set small goals and be kind to yourself. You are only capable of so much. Setting attainable goals and focusing on the positive can do wonders. 

Resources:
I like the following books and articles for those looking for more resources:
*49 Phrases to Calm an Anxious Child 

*9 Things Every Parent with an Anxious Child Should Try 

*Wilma Jean And The Worry Machine, by Julia Cook 

*The Anxiety Survival Guide For Teens, by Jennifer Shannon LMFT

“Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” – Joshua J. Marine

Self-care can be one of the toughest parts of life. We are constantly focusing on things around us-our jobs, homes, families, friends, and our list of things to do that we have thought about, but haven't quite gotten to yet. Sometimes, keeping busy can be fulfilling and can feel productive. Other times, it can feel draining and as though we never spend enough time on ourselves, and the things we really want to do. 

In working with clients who come in stressed, anxious and drained from life's everyday struggles, lack of self-care is often times the culprit. I tell people all the time that we are all born with a tool box of tools to handle things, and we add to those tools throughout our lifetime. Counseling can be a great way to to add to our tool box and self-care can be a very essential tool. 

You might ask, "How do I even begin?!" Starting is the hardest part! The trick is to make a list of things you love to do and that make you feel calm, relaxed and at peace. Some examples of ideas are below for your reference, but self-care is unique to the individual. For me, movie days, date nights with my husband, traveling and shopping are my self-care go-tos. I try to do at least one thing on my list a week, but sometimes when that plan fails, I make sure to block out time on my calendar. This helps to ensure I am not getting caught up in my daily routine and forgetting to do something fun for me! It can feel selfish at first, but the results of feeling refreshed and relaxed can help you feel happier, healthier, and better assist you in taking care of those around you.

If you aren't sure where to start with self-care, check out this list of ideas: 

• Gratitude Journal 
• Taking Walks/Hiking 
• Yoga/Meditation 
• Dancing
• Spending time with pets 
• Sleeping in 
• Catching up with friends
• Cooking 
• Reading 
• Spa Day 
• Crafting 
• Concerts/Listening to your favorite music 
• Shopping
• Traveling 
• Spending time practicing your faith 
• Art 
• Enjoying Nature 
• Eating your favorite meal or treat

If you like to read, check out this book: 
Self Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, by Kristin Neff. This book is a great insight into what being kind to yourself can do for your self-esteem and inner confidence. ​

"Self Compassion is simply giving the kindness to ourselves that we would give to others." -Christopher Germer